Week 13 2014 Weekly Uniform Rankings

by Tim Brulia

We hope you enjoyed pro football's longest weekend. And all that went with it.

Time for another installment of the GUD's rankings.

16) Dolphins-Jets: MIA in white/white, NYJ in green/white. Gack! If I were a cat, I think I'd hurl a hairball. Just a weak looking game. Normally for a prime time matchup, at least one side will crack open the dark pants, if available. Here, both squads had that option and both decided to go...white?? So, instead of giving green, aqua and orange the chance to shine, never mind. Gack!

15) Raiders-Rams: OAK in white/silver, STL in navy/white. Not sure what you could do with this one. I'm not feeling any sort of way about this one at all. The dour white-jerseyed Raider look paired with the gold trimmed Rams navys in white pants. This is where bright yellow from the Rams would have given this matchup a much needed kick in the butt.

14) Titans-Texans: TEN in white/navy, HOU in navy/navy. When three of the four major components in a matchup are the same color, be it white, black, red, navy, it's a major drop down. Such is the case here. Too bad the Titans have sworn off columbia blue for the season, as it would have given this game a desparate push upwards. Too bad the Texans chose this game to go all navy, against a navy clad team. Bad choices on both sides. Shame.

13) Cardinals-Falcons: ARZ in white/white, ATL in red/white. See #16 and #14. Three of four components in white. With a limited amount of color options, you go with your game hand, Namely, the Cardinals could have pulled the red pants. Would have a big difference. Alas...

12) Panthers-Vikings: CAR in white/white. MIN in purple/white. A heckuva lot of white here and thus, a bit of a tumble in the rankings. Not sure about all purple, but with the black pants available for the Panthers, why not give it a try? As we've seen before, black makes the light blue on the Panthers explode with vibrancy. Still, a good array of purples, yellow, carolina blues, blacks and silver.

11) Seahawks-49ers: SEA in gray/gray, SF in red/gold. Normally I'd have this one up several notches, but one thing was quite troubling to me. Whether it was my failing eyesight, the flaws of HD television, the lighting at Levi's Stadium or whatever, it looked to me that the Seahawks were wearing all white for the longest time! It wasn't until I looked at photos on the gettyimages.com website that I could fully confirm the Seahawks were indeed in "wolf" gray! Paired with the always dependable Niners red over gold, the matchup stays above water, but gets docked at a few notches for the Seahawks gray not being gray enough for a night game.

10) Chargers-Ravens: SD in white/navy, BAL in purple/white. Another one of those "the best we have to offer" games that still just can't get up the charts. It's really not that bad, no eyesore. Good deeply dark colors of black, purple and navy, blended with a touch of powder blue, yellow and gold.

9) Bears-Lions: CHI in white/navy, DET in honolulu blue/silver. Traditional matchup on a traditional football day. And it looks grand. The blue mixture of navy and honolulu blended with silver, orange and a breath of black is always a pleasure to the eyes.

8) Bengals-Buccaneers: CIN in white/white, TB in red/pewter. A couple of really busy uniforms here. Bucs do right in rocking pewter pants, but the Bengals could have either: a) wore the Black pants to make the orange socks pop a bit, or b) wore black socks to temper the orange/red overload.

7) Saints-Steelers: NO in white/black, PIT in black/yellow. This game featured a special one-off patch worn by the Steelers to commemorate the team's first championship, their Super Bowl IX victory some 40 years ago. Otherwise, this was a good matchup, nothing spectacular. Both teams in black, yellow and gold. So, though not much variety, they brought their best for this one.
Steelers 40th Anniversary Super Bowl IX patch
6) Eagles-Cowboys: PHI in white/green, DAL in navy/silver. It is very good that the Cowboys have decided to wear normal blue at home for at least one game a year. This is a real eye pleaser as the Eagles wore their green pants. The Cowboys dark jersey combo is really too good to be seen so rarely. Maybe more of this at AT&T Stadium next year, guys?? Pretty please?

5) Broncos-Chiefs: DEN in white/white, KC in red/red. The Chiefs honor a stricken player by wearing his favorite combo, the lovely all reds. But up against the dour broncos all whites, and a rather strong uni matchup week, it just can't scale the heights.

4) Redskins-Colts: WSH in white/yellow, IND in blue/white. The Redskins white combo may be the best white uniform there is right now, because it's a rare case where this combo is the one that actually makes the opponents' dark colors work, rather than the other way around. And with the stark Colts look, the Skins really makes the Colts blues stand out way more than normal.

3) Browns-Bills: CLE in white/brown, BUF in blue/white. The Bills were able to play a home game at home for a change and the home fans were treated to a very nice uni matchup. Quite colorful with brown, perfect blue, red, orange and white in a beautiful blend of color. Well played.

2) Patriots-Packers: NE in white/navy, GB in green/yellow. Power packed matchup both on the field and on the uniforms. The Patriots have a fair/middlin' uni here, but paired up with the very strong Packers green over yellow get-up and it comes to life as a strong bold uniform. Everything bounces off really well.

1) Giants-Jaguars: NYG in white/gray, JAX in black/black. This is wild. The matchup almost makes no sense at all. A team with a look stuck in early 1960's America against a team maybe too futuristic for its own good. Put 'em together and it's magic! Stodgy red, blue, gray meets gold, matte black and teal trim. Sweet and sour, salt and sugar, or as the Brits say, chalk and cheese. Yep, I like it!

That's it for this week. Again, a kindly reminder to check our Facebook and Twitter pages daily to see our random uniform matchup from the past, with little trivia items sprinkled in.

Take care and see you next week!


  1. 9 out of 16 eligible, because in one game I decided to make a little exception to one of my rules. Details below.

    The 7 auto fails:

    CLE-BUF: Browns - you don't work for UPS
    NO-PIT: Saints in gold pants would have made it a strong contender
    TEN-HOU: just two short years ago a Titans @ Texans game was a visual treat. Now Texans in all blue - bleh.
    NYG-JAX: all black is just not acceptable
    OAK-STL: Rams look like they forgot to pack their uniform pants. Thankfully in '02 they had the same unis, and both wore what I like.
    PHI-DAL; Eagles in white pants would have made it a strong contender.
    SEA-SF: You're supposed to look like the Seahawks - like Richard Sherman and Earl Thomas. Not Patrick Ewing and David Wingate.

    Now the ranknigs:

    9. DEN-KC: because of what the Chiefs wore (red monochrome) I can't make them the top game. But **why** they wore it prompted me to make an exception to my maxim of auto-failing that.

    8. CHI-DET: Decent color contrast but I've just always liked the Bears better in white pants,even with white jerseys. Reminds me of Walter, Revie Sorey and Bob Avellini.

    7. ARI-ATL: I like that both wore what I want. But the scheduling has induced the Cards to have to make a trip to the A-T-L just about every even-numbered year. So it loses a little of its shine that way.

    6. CIN-TB; I prefer the Bengals in white pants every game - and both teams were in their correct combos, but not my favorite.

    5. SD-BAL; Watching the game the Ravens purple really stood out in the first time the Bolts came calling to the Big Crab Cake in 8 years. But some other matchups were just better.

    4. MIA-NYJ: Yes both were in white and green. But they were different shades of green. Add the hints of coral, and the Dolphins' unis looked good under the lights against the J-E-T-S.

    3. CAR-MIN: Panthers-Vikings games in Minnesota have always looked good.

    2. NE-GB: One of the rare times the Pats will be near the top. It takes the Pack to make that happen.

    1. WAS-IND: Made me harken back to Joe Lavender and Ken Houston trying to prevent Roger Carr or Glenn Doughty from catching a TD pass on Monday Night Football.

    Note: what motivates me to rank the way I do? Tim sees a game and probably asks "what's in the kaleidoscope?". Which is fine. That's part of it for me. But another part is that each team has a certain identity - an image, if you will. For the most part my image of those teams comes from when I first started watching the NFL - a few games in '75 and by '76 I knew what each team wore, much of that from reading a Sears Christmas catalog and watching either NFL Today or This Is the NFL.

  2. Kyle, this is wear you and I agree to disagree. I like - nay love - a variety of colors. I have been following pro football since 1966. Unlike most my age, I am very happy to see teams wear dark pants or (gasp!) go monochrome. If you have all of these bright colors, USE THEM!! However, there are times when all black pains me as much as all white. Or, why not use colors that have been no more than "trim" as a solid color? Like Vikings in yellow pants, Steelers or Raiders in black pants, 49ers, Falcons or Giants in red pants, etc. There is no shame at all in tasting the rainbow. I can't autofail a matchup because a team wears all white or all black. But sure, that matchup will fall down the food chain, especially if one or both teams CAN do better or think outside the box. Maybe the jersey colors have to be known months in advance, but the pants and - yes, the socks - do NOT. Accessorize properly and style points will be assessed appropriately.

    Enjoy your take on the matchups, Kyle. Thanks and Keep 'em coming!

  3. I look at whether teams should wear white or dark pants the same way I look at dudes with shaved heads. It looks great on me and on someone like Mike Pettine. But it would have been hideous on my dad when he was around. Imagine John Madden with a shaved dome too.

    I prefer hate the Ravens in black pants period but also hate the Texans in all white or all blue. At the same time I liked when the Jags had black pants with white tops from '09-'12. I was OK with the Saints black pants with white jerseys in the Dick Nolan years but hate those things on them now.

    It's good that two people can look at the exact same thing - with the exact same data points, and reach different conclusions.



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