2015 Week 5 Weekly Uniform Rankings

by Tim Brulia

14) Colts-Texans: IND in white/white, HOU in navy/white. Sure, the Colts in all white is laden with tradition. But still, it is rather dull. The Texans do help pump this one up a bit with the navv and the bright red trim. Not enough though, to keep this one from the lower shelf.

13) Patriots-Cowboys: NE in navy/silver, DAL in white/mint. Two squads with big followings and rather good uniforms, but paired together, this becomes a rather pedestrian looking matchup. Dominated by silvers and various shades of blue, with a pinch of red on the Patriots and I just find it a little on the dull side, color-wise.

12) Jaguars-Buccaneers: JAX in black/white, TB in white/white. Long ago, there was a prog rock band called King Crimson who cut a tune called "21st Century Schizoid Man." That's what this matchup reminds me of. Schizoid. Bizarre designs, colors in a cubist fashion, unusual number fonts, two-toned helmets, outrageously large helmet decals. The prototype 2015 uniform matchup.

11) Broncos-Raiders: DEN in white/white, OAK in black/silver. We've seen this matchup in Oakland for the better part of 19 years now, and I'm just not caught up on it. Yeah, I'll say that the colors are a bit strong, navy, black, silver and a bit of orange, but I suppose it's the way it's executed that is what bothers me.

10) Bills-Titans: BUF in blue/white, TEN in white/navy. Apart from the white helmets, various shades of blue dominate here. The sweet Bills blue, the Titans navy and homage to their Houston days, columbia blue. Add a slight dash of red on both sides, and it just doesn't captivate me. May the Bills in blue pants might have given this duel a needed juice jolt.

9) Browns-Ravens: CLE in white/brown, BAL in alternate black/black. The Browns actually look sharp for once. The remodeled brown pants are so much better than the drab 100% brown trousers worn previously. But the Ravens decide to junk it up a bit with the all black ensemble. The only good thing about the black jerseys is that somehow, they give the purple a special oomph as a trim color.

8) Cardinals-Lions: ARI in white/white, DET in honolulu blue/silver. Nice colors at play here. Deep red, that magical honolulu shade of azure, and the dallop of silver. Good, not great. Personally I would have preferred the Cardinals in red pants.

7) Saints-Eagles: NO in white/black, PHI in green/white. There seemed to be a better than average lineup of pretty good uni matchups this week, and due to that, this one seems to get lost in the shuffle.The Saints in gold pants might have been a little wee bit better, but I kinda think that would have been a wash. The Eagles look smart in the green over white look..

6) Bears-Chiefs: CHI in white/navy, KC in red/white. This pits two rather conservative teams in rather good gear. Red, navy and white are dominant with some speckles of yellow and orange to compliment. Not  flashy matchup, but a good, clean one. And that's certainly not a bad thing.

5) 49ers-Giants: SF in white/gold, NYG in blue/gray. I like this one. I like the fact that though the Giants look great in a blue over white uni, I think against the Niners, the gray pants look a lot better. Not sure why I feel that way. It just fits more comfortably against SF in all that gold and bright red trim.

4) Seahawks-Bengals: SEA in white/navy, CIN in black/white. The Seahawks, I believe, do well with the navy pants in this one. Gray pants may have worked just as well, but the white pants definitely would not have. The Bengals also score some points by staying away from all black. The result is a pretty good look.

3) Steelers-Chargers: PIT in white/yellow, SD in navy/white. Seems like when the Steelers have been in San D in recent years, the Chargers have taken to wearing the lordly powder blues. This time, the Chargers stuck with the navys, and for whatever reason, they look better going against the white clad Steelers than the powders. I know that's heresy amongst the uni-geeks, but this one just has a better football feel than had the Bolts strayed to powder. Bounces better off the black and yellow? May bee.

2) Rams-Packers: STL in white/navy, GB in green/yellow. I think this was the best choice for the Rams, navy pants instead of all white and it blends quite well with the Packers in the always sweet green over yellow. I quite like this matchup.

1) Redskins-Falcons: WSH in white/yellow, ATL in red/white. Oh yes, BOTH teams in tri-colors! The Redskins in burgundy lids, white shirts and yellow pants. The Falcons in black headgear, red jerseys and white pants. A real festive cornucopia of autumn bliss.

Thanks for watching. Be back next week!


  1. Time to answer the opening drive with a TD of my own.

    Several years ago there was a commercial where a young guy used air quotes talking about lhimself "smelling like sour cream and failure". There were 6 games that fit that bill.

    NO-PHI: the only time these two teams got it right this century was Week 12 of '03. The Saints in black pants ruined the Eagles wearing their good home unis.

    STL-GB: dear Rams, please move back to LA. Maybe that will bring back the gold pants.

    JAX-TB: in their six regular season games in a 21-year span, not once have the Bucs been in dark jerseys. Make a Jags-Bucs game in Tampa later in the year next time.

    SEA-CIN: everything was right about this, except the Seahawks pants which ruined it.

    BUF-TEN: are the Titans going to join the Cowboys and (mostly) Dolphins in being exclusively WAH? If so, what a shame.

    CLE-BAL: last year in the season finale I ranked this as the #1 uni matchup of the week. What a difference a year makes. This is not only the worst looking matchup of the week, but one of the worst of all time. The Browns hideous look needs no further explanation, and the Ravens in all black - horrible.

    Now, for the first time this season, the majority of a week's games are rankable.

    8. NE-DAL: correct unis, but it again makes me miss Pat the Patriot and the red jerseys.

    7. IND-HOU: a decent look, but I have to be honest. It wouldn't upset me if the Texans made eed their primary home jersey color.

    6. DEN-OAK: not the greatest in the world but what makes this matchup decent enough is the silver and black.

    5. CHI-KC: I've always preferred the Bears in all white on the road. But this looked nice enough.

    4. WAS-ATL: a great look. But I liked 3 better.

    3. PIT-SD: like Tim, I thought the Bolts would have gone with the powder blue, but they did me proudm the navy and white with hints of gold looked great against the Steelers black and gold with white jerseys.

    2. ARI-DET: both teams in their regular stuff and the color contrast was a great visual treat.

    1. SF-NYG: last year I couldn't rank this game since the G Men went with white pants. This time they went with gray and it looked awesome under the lights against the Niners road version of their gold scarlet and white.

  2. Timmy B with a Robert Fripp reference! Nice!



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