Week 8 2014 Weekly Uniform Rankings

by Tim Brulia

Getting right to it!

15) Dolphins-Jaguars: MIA in white/white, JAX in black/white. If ever we needed an overload for teal and aqua that would scream Florida, this would have been the one. Instead, no teal/aqua jerseys, no teal/aqua pants. Just the dreaded all white of Miami and the black/gold/white ensemble of the Jags. A real matchup bummer,

14) Seahawks-Panthers: SEA in gray/gray, CAR in black/silver. No No no no ni ni. Not the game for the Seahawks to rock the gray jerseys. Not at all. Not against a team that decides to do the black over silver starting this week instead of the all whites for home games.

13) Eagles-Cardinals: PHI in white/white, ARZ in red/white. OK, we know about the Eagles issues with green this season. So we are faced with the drab as a slab all white look. We get that. BUT Cardinals, you could have helped the cause by going all red for this encounter. What you see may be what you get, but it isn't what you want.

12) Texans-Titans: HOU in white/navy, TEN in navy/white. It was rare for the Titans to go this deep into the season in white at home, I was thinking maybe the Titans would do it for the season. Not to be. And I do like this combo, but I think the columbia blue tops would have worked better against a white over navy squad.

11) Rams-Chiefs: STL in white/white, KC in red/white. Just a bit much on the white end of things for me here. No, not saying the Chiefs should have rocked all red. But the Rams certainly could have slapped the navy pants on this one. I think it would added some sense of additional color without overwhelming the matchup.

10) Ravens-Bengals: BAL in white/black, CIN in black/white. The buzz was that the Bengals had planned on an all black ensemble, but decided to switch to white pants. That helped, because that would have been just too much black for this matchup. It helps this one some, but not drastically.

9) Packers-Saints: GB in white/yellow, NO in black/black. Not sure about this one. Not a dull uninspired matchup and yet, not one to write home (email home??) about, either. Maybe jaded by the all blacks? Maybe?

8) Bears-Patriots: CHI in white/navy, NE in navy/silver. Both teams could have done something wild, but being conservative organizations, of course not. And really, this matchup does offer some variance, orange, navy, red, silver. But not quite enough to spark some flames.

7) Chargers-Broncos: SD in white/navy, DEN in orange/white. After the all navy alternate, the Broncos revert back to that pumpkiny sweet orange. The Chargers reply with the white over navy look. Lots of navy, to be sure, but punctuated by good orange, yellow and a flash of powder blue.

6) Redskins-Cowboys: WSH in burgundy/yellow, DAL in white/mint. With the Redskins fully in yellow pants again, these games between these bitter rivals evoke images of the 1970's when Dallas-Washington was white hot. And the colors are distinct. Burgundy, yellow, metallic blue, blue, mint and of course, Cowboy white.

5) Vikings-Buccaneers: MIN in purple/white, TB in white/pewter. Socks. Overlooked yet, vital. For the Bucs, such s simple maneuver of changing from dull pewter socks to vibrant red socks with this uni combo makes not just a difference in their look, but in a uni matchup against a team whose primed in purple, it just adds mega bonus points overall.

4) Lions-Falcons: DET in white/silver, ATL in red/white. "Wake up with Wembley" is how Fox described this game. This one - color wise (and that's what I like most) - is eye appealing. It brings the Falcons in the favorable red over white combo along with the Lions in silver with honolulu blue and a breath of black to trim. Good one, Lads.

3) Raiders-Browns: OAK in white/silver, CLE in brown/white. I, for one, am not a fan of the Raiders rather dull white over silver uni. I find it generic and somewhat lifeless, The Browns? I like the brown over white combo, because they are accessorized by the magic orange helmet. But the Browns unis are nowhere near my favorite. So why does this matchup rank so high? Because, that's the beauty of the matchup. Put these two combos together, and I am enthralled. All of it falls into place so well.

2) Colts-Steelers: IND in white./white, PIT in throwback yellow-black/khaki. If the away team in this matchup was almost any other team but the Colts, this would easily be the week's #1. The Colts rather yawny all whites perhaps are a good contrast to the outrageous and highly polarizing Steelers bumblebee jersey and socks. I happen to be in the LOVE camp for these wonders and I know that puts me in the minority, but you gotta hand it to the Steelers for staying with the stingers.

1) Bills-Jets: BUF in white/blue, NYJ in green/green. When white helmeted teams meet, the unis better salvage the matchup. And this one does. Both rocking dark pants for this one, Bills in blue and Jets in green for the mono green effect. The dark pants are a pleasant contrast and make this one work. A lot.

Till next time, Happy Halloween, everyone!!


  1. I would have picked DET-ATL is #1, WAS-DAL as #2, OAK-CLE as #3, PHI-ARI as #4 and SD-DEN as #5. Shows that we have many similarities but also many differences in how we look at this.

  2. Kyle, as my disclaimer says in the Week 1 review blog. I don't pretend to be consistent. It's how I feel at the time I compile the blog. Perhaps the one consistency you'll find is that I do like dark pants, I like a lot of color, I like Bears at Packers and I do like when seldom seen matchups occur.

  3. Thanks TB. Now I'll post my preferences for each team (may take a few comments):

    First, auto-fail - defined as one or both teams wearing what I consider a no-no. Thus the matchup is ineligible for ranking.

    Bills - white jerseys and white pants results in a uni matchup auto-fail. However, love that they went back to Joe Ferguson era helmets.

    Dolphins - WAH is auto-fail, except if the Cowboys come calling. I wish they went back to the '73-'79 uniforms. And I prefer them in white over aqua pants - just reminds me more of the Dolphins. But they're one of three teams who I'll allow colored pants with white jerseys without an auto-fail.

    Jets - loved that they went back to the Namath era unis in 1998. Now, green pants in any circumstance results in an auto-fail. So does WAH, unless they're playing Dallas.

    Patriots - wish they went back to the Chuck Fairbanks/Steve Grogan/Sam "Bam" Cunningham era uniforms. But they won't. Their current uniforms are passable and even provide a good contrast against some other unis. WAH only acceptable against Dallas, like they did in Week 6 of '11.

    Bengals - black pants and/or orange jerseys is an auto-fail. Their current primary unis have enough color that they contrast well with plenty of opponents.

    Browns - brown pants is an AF. And, I don't care if they have a sort of on-and-off 50+ year tradition of WAH. Going with that results in an AF.

    Ravens - black pants and/or jerseys - triple-dog AF. I absolutely detest those things.Their white pants have purple stripes that make their white-on-white contrast well enough with many opponents.

    Steelers - one of my favorite unis - I even like the italicized, rounded numerals. But sorry. those Hamburglar, bumble-bee monstrosities have to go.

    Next: at least the AFC South and AFC West.

  4. Colts - love their traditional look, that they've stuck to it. Those unis, both home and away, contrast well with just about anything, even some other unis with a lot of blue.

    Jaguars - I with they'd kept their '09-'11 unis. Even their black helmets with black pants and white jerseys with black numerals, had enough teal accents to make it contrast decently enough with many opponents. Their current unis look by themselves garish. The teal jerseys they wore against SD last year were nauseating, and I'm fairly sure they'll break those out at least once. Their current white jerseys should be worn with white pants. But only in away games. At home, except against the Cowboys, results in an AF. Their black jerseys have teal sleeves thus they're tolerable but only with white pants.

    Texans - anything other than blue on white or white on blue results in an AF. They used to wear blue pants with white tops at home, and I hated that too, but liked it when they did it in their inaugural game against Dallas in '02.

    Titans - one of 3 white-helmeted teams (Dolphins and Bills the others) who I'll tolerate dark pants. They and the Bills are the two teams where I prefer it. That said, I wish they kept wearing the light blue pants with white jerseys. And I wish their primary home unis were what they wore against the Colts and Cards last year. Those are links to the old Oilers. That said, I'll tolerate the dark blue pants or jerseys, but not together as a monochromatic look. I'm even OK with them in light blue jerseys and dark blue pants. And they, like the Bills, get an AF for all white. And they can wear WAH against Dallas.

    Broncos - love, love, love the orange jerseys. The all blue alts results in an AF.

    Chargers - I'll be branded a uni-nerd heretic for this, but I don't drool over their powder blues - those get an AF. In fact, my favorite unis from them are the Tommy Prothro era ones - blue helmets with gold pants with the plain blue and white stripes. But I'm OK with their current unis, and here's my first mid-comment correction. SD is one of 3 teams (along with TEN and BUF) who wear white helmets but get an AF for all white. And WAH is auto-fail except against Dallas.

    Chiefs - I treat them like the Texans. I hate white-on-white on KC. I also hate their monochromatic red. Either one is an AF.

    Raiders - being a Broncos fan, you know where I stand about them as an organization. But I love to death their traditional look. Even their white jerseys with silver pants and helmets contrasts well IMO with many opponents.

    Next: NFC East and NFC North

  5. Cowboys - as noted above, they're the one team allowed to wear WAH consistently. And other teams can wear WAH to force them to wear their navy blue jerseys and silver pants. Those games only AF if their opponents wear an alt or throwback, or if they don't usually wear WAH at least once or twice a year. Deep down, though, I loved their primary blue jerseys against Oakland last Turkey Day. Their Turkey Day throwbacks are AF, though. Sorry.

    Eagles - one thing I like about Chip Kelly coming aboard is that they've ditched the green pants. Since they moved to the Link, they only didn't AF in white jerseys on the road twice - against GB in '07 and JAX in '10 while Andy Reid was still there. Don't know if Chip Kelly and ditching green pants was coincidental, but if so, it's a welcome coincidence. WAH is AF, unless they do it against Dallas. So is those gawd-awful black alts.

    Giants - sorry, but I don't like the white pants on them. Keep the silvers. I love that they went to solid, thin, trim-less red #s with white jerseys in '05. Those contrast well with just about anything.

    Redskins - I know I just used the nickname. But I'm one who wishes they would change their nickname and logo. But I won't elaborate further here. I can do that elsewhere. About their colors, they are one of 6 teams (PIT, SF, GB, STL and NO being the others) that must wear yellow or gold pants or get an AF. They became dead to me in '79 when they ditched the gold pants. Burgandy and gold is an awesome combo.

    Bears - I prefer them in all white on the road, but their navy blue pants with white tops are acceptable. Throwbacks - don't like them. Results in an AF.

    Lions - I would make two changes to their unis - go with silver numerals (with white trim) on their blue jerseys, and go with a gray or blue face mask. Other than that, their unis are a thing of beauty and if the other team doesn't produce an AF, their games will frequently be in contention for tops any given week.

    Packers - love their traditional look, even as they reduced the sleeve striping starting in '97. Just don't wear those throwbacks.

    Vikings - love that they'll be outdoors for two years. The Met made their purple jerseys look like a sickly blue. If I had my druthers they would have kept their '70s unis (home and away - but not the purple jerseys w/o stripes). Their purple pants are AF. Sorry. With those, they don't look like the Vikings.

    Next - NFC South and NFC West

  6. Bucs - their colossally super-sized decal on the helmet is startling, and I had no issue with their previous primary ensemble, but I can live with what they have now. That said, anything combo with white pants, and WAH when not playing Dallas is an AF.

    Falcons - love their current unis. They contrast well with just about anything.

    Panthers - WAH only against Dallas, please. WAH against any other opponent, or wearing black monochrome is AF. And sorry, so is their light blue alts. Just my preference for the Carolina. I prefer that color as an accent on them.

    Saints - what makes their black jerseys great is their thick, deep gold letters on their nameplate. That said, black pants at any time results in AF. So does WAH, except against the Cowboys. Their gold helmets with black jerseys and gold pants contrast so well with just about any opponent.

    Cardinals - love their current primary unis. Red pants at any time, or black jersey alts, results in an AF. And I kind of wish they'd break out white jerseys when Dallas comes to town.

    49ers - I was fine with the metallic gold they had from '96-'08, but they were dead to me in '96 and '97 when they had white pants. I'm really glad they went back to their traditional gear in '09. Colin Kaepernick would look a little weird in the Mariucci era unis.

    Rams - their decision to ditch the gold pants with their current jerseys make them dead to me. Thus any game involving them is an instant AF. Except - when they wear the '73-'99 throwbacks. They're the one team for whom I'll allow it. Their white pants look like sailor pants. Their blue pants look like pajama bottoms. Without gold pants, **they don't look like the Rams**.

    Seahawks - they're the only team who can wear a monochrome uni and not get an AF. When the pacific blues mono look came out in '02 I at first hated it but it actually grew on me. So when they changed up two years ago, I "grandfathered" that allowance for them. When they're not at home, only white jerseys with gray pants are acceptable.



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