Week 8 2015 Weekly Uniform Rankings

by Tim Brulia

14) Dolphins-Patriots: MIA in white/white, NE in navy/silver. (Sigh). Again the Dolphins in the all whites. Patriots in the standard navy over silver. This might have been a good one for the color vs color rumors that have been going around. But, we get this. And we're all the poorer because of it.

13) Colts-Panthers: IND in white/white, CAR in black/silver. Nope, this one doesn't work for me. Another opportunity for the Panthers to try the all-black with carolina blue socks in prime time is wasted. Again, the Colts in all whites just doesn't move me much. Sorry, folks. Let's move along.

12) Lions-Chiefs: DET in white/silver, KC in red/white. The third of the three London clashes this season. One this that we don't have to deal with this season is the tepid "International Series" patches that the NFL used to make these teams wear. Anyway this is not a half bad uni matchup, with red, yellow, silver and some honolulu blue thrown into the mix.

11) Buccaneers-Falcons: TB in white/white, ATL in red/white. The Falcons in the favorable red over white combo against the Bucs in the favorable all whites. Not a matchup with great gusto, but it is a pleasing one to the eyes, with the Bucs' dank pewter pants kept in the laundry room. Falcons' red tops making this a good look.

10) Cardinals-Browns: ARI in white/white, CLE in alternate orange/white. Well, the Browns waited till now to foist the third jersey in their collection, the orange. And this is how it should be done. Instead of garish brown numbers, we get legible white numbers with a slight brown drop shadow. Sorta disappointed that the Browns eschewed the orange pants with this, or the "deer hunter" look. Cardinals play it cool by staying all white.

9) Giants-Saints: NYG in white/gray, NO in black/gold. The Saints are back to wearing black at home, and it's the right choice for this one. I prefer this matchup to the Giants in blue and the Saints in white. It exposes the red trim of the Giants more than the blue outfit would have and the Saints in gold pants work better than an all black ensemble.

8) Titans-Texans: TEN in white/columbia blue, HOU in navy/navy. Just when we thought the columbia blue was being mothballed by the Titans, along comes the light blue pants! And paired up with the Texans in all navy, it's a welcome sight. All sorts of shades of blue and they blend well together. Bravo!

7) Seahawks-Cowboys: SEA in navy/navy, DAL in white/mint. Just close your eyes and imagine something amazing. The Seahawks in white playing the Cowboys in blue. But with Seattle never wearing white at home and Dallas virtually never wearing blue at home, the likelihood of this happening in our lifetimes, is virtually nil. But hey, I kinda like this anyway. the contrast is familiar, but actually appealing. So, keep dreaming.

6) 49ers-Rams: SF in white/gold, STL in throwback blue/yellow. This game somewhat reminds me of the clashes these two had for a number of years in the 70's, 80's and 90's. The bright Niner reds, golds and the royal blue and yellow of the classic Rams unis. Good to see this again!

5) Bengals-Steelers: CIN in white/white, PIT in throwback yellow-black/khaki. Yep, the Steelers have these more often than when they were originally worn over 80 years ago! I make no secret of the fact that I adore the "prison stripes," "bumblebees" or whatever you want to call them. And the striped socks that go with them! What brings this one down a peg or two was the Bengals going with white pants instead of black. Black slacks would have been the perfect antidote against the Steelers marvels. But not to be and the bland (for the) Bengals drops this down.

4) Jets-Raiders: NYJ in white/green, OAK in black/silver. Quite amazing what a pair of pants can do. If the Jets were in all white, I would have said, yucky. But, switch the pants to green and I say, brilliant!! If you just have one non-white color in your wardrobe like the Jets, you gotta make the most of it. And coupled with the standard Raider silver and black, it's great.

3) Packers-Broncos: GB in white/yellow, DEN in alternate navy/white. Wow, we haven't seen the Broncos in navy over white since the 2011 Wild Card game! And this is pretty much the same uni matchup of Super Bowl XXXII. And it's a nice clean look from both sides. And some good color works; navy, green, orange and yellow. While I prefer the Broncos in orange, a rain check here will suffice.

2) Vikings-Bears: MIN in white/purple, CHI in navy/white. Oh yeah, another NFC North uni class matchup. Purply goodness, navy niceness, and range and yellow trim terrificness. My goodness!

1) Chargers-Ravens: SD in white/navy, BAL in purple/white. I'm not sure why, but this is appealing to me. The Ravens purple seems to really blend well with the Chargers in the white over navy. Certainly better than all black or purple over black. This is one in the upper division of this week's food chain for sure.

Be back here for Week 9 as we hit the halfway mark (already??!) of the season!


  1. My take - this week with a new twist.

    First the games that get the stamp of that horrible white substance you find conspicuously in seven-layer dip.

    MIN-CHI: I just can't get into the Vikings purple pants.

    TB-ATL: for the 2nd straight season the Bucs ruined their trip to the Georgia Dome by going white on white. As almost always it takes the opponent to ruin a uniform matchup involving the Falcons.

    ARI-CLE: the Cardinals improved to 6-2 by rallying to beat the Cleveland Oranges. Or was that Danny Ford on the Browns sidelines watching Perry Tuttle catch a pass in the Orange Bowl against Nebraska?

    NYJ-OAK: can Rex Ryan get his job back there? At least they wore white pants more often. Gang Green has only done that once this year.

    CIN-PIT: the Bengals wore what I like, but I won't be too shocked if I see Grimace and Mayor McCheese on the sidelines in one of those games in Pittsburgh.

    TEN-HOU: the Titans did their part by returning to light blue pants. The Texans didn't hold up their end of the bargain. They went all navy. Boo!!

    At least this time more than half of the games are rankable.

    8. SEA-DAL: both teams do what I like but it doesn't do much for me.

    7. SD-BAL: I ranked this same matchup pretty highly last year but it doesn't grab me the same way this time. Thankfully the Ravens didn't go with anything predominantly black below the neck like they too often do.

    6. IND-CAR: These two have yet to disappoint when they've gone head-to-head. Carolina's silver helmets and pants and black jerseys with light blue vertical sleeve stripes contrast well with many teams, including the blue and white clad Colts.

    5. GB-DEN: I'm sort of breaking one of my own rules here. I still would have preferred the Broncos wore orange. Now I have to wait until 2023 (assuming neither team does a makeover by then) or hope they meet in an even-numbered Super Bowl and Denver goes with orange. But I like the way that uniform matchup looked. It harkened me back to my all-time favorite moment as a fan, even though now the Broncos have that toilet bowl rim collar on their jerseys. Had they went with monochrome blue, I would have rejected it.

    4. MIA-NE: one key difference in how Tim and I look at these games. Whereas Tim is uninspired because the Dolphins went with white all the way around, what sticks out to me is the accessories. Miami's white jerseys and pants come with conspicuous aqua accents - both on the tall numerals on the jerseys and the stripes on the pants. Add that to the aqua socks and the game played under the night sky, this enhances an ordinarily drab Patriots home uni.

    3. DET-KC: unless an opponent ruins it, Lions games will always rank high when it comes to uniforms. This one is no exception. The Chiefs' home duds go very well against the Lions road garb, even on a neutral London site.

    2. SF-STL: I'm reminded most of Charles Haley and Michael Carter chasing Jim Everett when I see this matchup. It's also one of the two times a year the Rams get a weekend furlough out of uniform jail.

    1. NYG-NO: the last decade has been one of so much wasted potential when these two get together. Not since the Hurricane Katrina benefit game with the Giants as the "road" team in only the most technical sense of the word have these two done it right. The contrast in colors is absolutely restaurant quality (yes, I'm kind of stealing from Kenny Mayne). It made the shootout (even by today's standards) even more special. All of that furious action looks better when two teams with sharp contrasting palettes go at it.

  2. Now, the new weekly twist. I've decided to create uniform matchup point standings retroactive to Week 1. It will continue until the end of the regular season when I crown a uni matchup champion. Each week the teams involved in any of the top 3 uni games get points - 1 point each to the two teams whose matchup finishes 3rd, 2 points each to the teams who land in 2nd, and 3 points each to the teams who end up in 1st. Each team also gets 1/2 point in a game that's ranked but not in the top 3 for the week. Sour cream games result in 0 points for the two teams involved, even if only one of the two teams made it that way. That may seem harsh, but as Joe Walsh sang a long time ago - "That's the breaks and I'm sorry. Some of us must be going. Some of us have to stay". So, here are the standings after Week 8:

    Steelers: 10.5
    Cowboys: 10
    Giants: 9.5
    49ers: 9
    Lions: 8
    Saints: 6.5
    Cardinals: 6.5
    Eagles: 6
    Chiefs: 5.5
    Falcons: 5.5
    Broncos: 4.5
    Colts: 4.5
    Ravens: 3.5
    Vikings: 3.5
    Chargers: 3
    Packers: 3
    Bears: 2.5
    Redskins: 2.5
    Dolphins: 2
    Patriots: 2
    Raiders: 2
    Rams: 2
    Seahawks: 2
    Texans: 1.5
    Bengals: 1
    Bills: 1
    Panthers: 1
    Browns: .5
    Buccaneers: .5
    Jaguars: 0
    Jets: 0
    Titans: 0

  3. Is this the first time ever when you have the Ravens as number 1?!

    1. I think so. But I strongly feel it takes two to make a uni matchup work. In this case 1 + 1 = #1!!

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  5. As much as I would love to break down every uni match-up with Tim and Kevin, you know what they say about 3 being a crowd. Besides, I like the "Dueling Pianos" thing they have going. So I'll just do a top 3, Olympic style.

    Bronze) Bengals-Steelers:
    I'm sorta with Tim about the Bengals going with black pants for this one. However, it looks great as is. Love those bumblebees. This is a great uni combo for Halloween (well, technically Nov 1, but you get it).

    Silver) Giants-Saints:
    This is the Saints best look. It meshes well with the Giants red, white, and blue. I know some think a team known as "Big Blue" shouldn't have so much red on their uniform, but I think it looks great. Now if the Saints would just ditch the neck roll...

    Gold) Jets-Raiders:
    I'm 100% with Tim here; the Jets green pants make this a very good-looking game. The Raiders home duds are always great, but paired against that healthy amount of green, they look ever better. The Jets should keep wearing the green pants on the road. It's much better than all white.



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