Week 14 2014 Weekly Uniform Rankings

by Tim Brulia

And so it continues...

16) Chiefs-Cardinals: KC in white/red, ARZ in red/red. OK, so you ask, if you like the Chiefs in all red so much, why the low rating for the Cardinals' all red?? Here's the deal. Had the Cardinals gone all red against any other team in the NFL, this game easily is in the upper half of the rankings. Even if the Chiefs wear all white, I can knock this game up a lot. BUT the Big Red goes and wears this combo against only other team with as much red as them. Sigh...next please...

15) Seahawks-Eagles: SEA in white/navy, PHI in black/black. Man, I must be getting jaded or something. The Eagles finally have their greens ready, but they decide to go all black?? I'm sure the black jerseys were known months ago for this one, but heck, if you're going to go all dark, why not rock the green pants?? It would have added style points to the GUD book. Seattle's white over navy gets lost when it really shouldn't have.

14) Ravens-Dolphins: BAL in purple/white, MIA in white/white. Loads of white, but I'm not expecting the Ravens to don black pants in the tropics of South Florida. It would be nice for the Fins to sport the aqua pants, though. When your end zones look better that your unis, time to do something about it.

13) Jets-Vikings: NYJ in white/white, MIN in purple/white. Jets, why? Either green pants or green socks would have been a big help. No. Well Vikings you could have brought the grapey pants, too, you know? No. Too much white for me. Purple and more green would have been a bizarre but interesting look.

12) Bills-Broncos: BUF in white/white, DEN in orange/white. The Bills shade of blue - to me - is the best blue in the NFL, yes, even better than Charger powder blue. So when the Bills elect to go all white, I'm quite disgruntled. Not even the sweet orange of the Broncos is enough to get me out of the dumps.

11) 49ers-Raiders: SF in white/gold, OAK in black/silver. The metalheads from the Bay. Or, as Burl Ives has sung so many times, "Silver and Gold." plus a dash of red and a heaping dose of black, and it's a predictable but good looking matchup, keeping bells and whistles to a minimum.

10) Panthers-Saints: CAR in white/white, NO in black/black. All white and all black is not the cool. Saints should have rocked their gold bottoms for this. Saving grace for this encounter is the carolina blue socks of the Panthers.

9) Buccaneers-Lions: TB in white/pewter, DET in honolulu blue/silver. I can't help it. The Bucs hot mess of a uni is growing on me. While the deep pewter dulls one's senses here, that in turn makes their goofy numbers pop! Couple with the always classy honolulu blues, and those red numbers stand out like a sore thumb. Good stuff.

8) Colts-Browns: IND in white/white, CLE in brown/white. Had this matchup happened in the 1980's, we would have been treated to the Colts in silver trimmed striping and the Browns in orange trousers. But times have changed, in this case, backwards. A load of blue trimmed white against brown, orange and white. It's OK.

7) Texans-Jaguars: HOU in white/navy, JAX in black/white. Could have been better, but the Jags trotted out their white pants and that move boosts this game up several notches. Little bits of teal, red and gold is a good compliment.

6) Falcons-Packers: ATL in white/white, GB in green/yellow. While the Falcons all whites are a very bland combo as a standalone, when worn with the Packers green over yellow, it looks so much better. Not near enough for a finish in the medal standings, but certainly the red and black trim on the Falcons attire gets a needed lift.

5) Giants-Titans: NYG in blue/gray, TEN in white/navy. It's nice to see somebody other than Dallas and Miami going WAH for most of their home games. The Giants gray pants looks better than a blue over white look would have been. The Titans white over navy is the better choice here as well. This one pleases my eyes.

4) Cowboys-Bears: DAL in white/mint, CHI in navy/white. Normalcy is the standard operating procedure here with this matchup. Silvery shades of greenish blue mixed with a few shades of deeper and a dollop of orange.

3) Steelers-Bengals: PIT in white/yellow, CIN in black/white. Two triple decker sandwiches of differing color schemes is a plussity-plus for me. black over white over yellow and orange over black over white. Not a tremendous wealth of colors, but how they're expressed is what makes this matchup work.

2) Patriots-Chargers: NE in white/navy, SD in alternate powder blue/white. The Patriots get lucky. Last week, the white over navy gets a big boost from the Packers and this week, with the Chargers all spruced up in the lovely powder blue, the Pats look is complemented tenfold at least. Dandy game!

1) Rams-Redskins: STL in white/navy, WSH in burgundy/yellow. Nice one, guys. Navy, gold, burgundy, yellow. Real sweet looking matchup. White is kept only for the Rams jerseys and this makes all the colors stand out. Wunderbar!

Return with us next week. We'll be here, hope you will, too. Bye!


  1. Now my take.

    Only seven of the 16 Week 14 games are eligible. Not a week to put much into a time capsule.

    I used to refer to certain games as auto fails. There's one food that I consider to be so raunchy, so nasty, so ratchet, that if that was the only thing to eat, I'd prefer to starve. That food is sour cream. If I eat something that has it in it and it's conspicuous, it will not be a pretty site afterward. So, from now, on, those games with uniform fails I will refer to as sour cream. So, without further adieu:

    BAL-MIA: sour cream for Dolphins in WAH. Only once have these two ever met with Miami in aqua, and that was in 2000 in a Sunday night downpour.

    NE-SD: I'm the ultimate NFL uniform geek heretic, due to **not** being enamored by the Bolts' powder blues. They just don't do it for me. Sour cream.

    BUF-DEN: had the Bills worn their blue pants, I would have ranked it at the top. The next possibility for the Bills to come to the Mile High city wearing what I want is next year if the Broncos choke, or if both teams finish in the same spot in 2015. Completely blown opportunity by Buffalo. Thus, sour cream.

    NYG-TEN: I just don't understand the Titans rationale for going WAH. Three times the Giants have gone into Music City to play the Flaming Thumbtacks, and three times it's been sour cream. Twice because of Tennessee going WAH. The other due to the Titans wearing monocrhome dark blue.

    HOU-JAX: Jags in all black: sour cream.

    KC-ARI: well at least the two teams wore what they were supposed to the last time the Chiefs went down to the desert. But this time, sour cream. Arizona in all red is just fugly.

    STL-WAS: Rams in gold pants would have made it at least top 2 or 3. But since the Rams management wants no part of the gold pants, sour cream.

    SEA-PHI: Hawks in navy pants and Eagles in all black: big pile of sour cream spilled in my lap.

    CAR-NO: Saints in gold pants would have made it top 5, but they can't bring themselves to do it.

    Now this weeks ranked games:

    7. DAL-CHI; a decent looking game. These two teams reliably wear their regular stuff when they get together, and it has an adequately good color contrast.

    6. NYJ-MIN: the Vikings at home will be pleasing most of the time this year and next. As long as they stay in white pants, only their opponents can ruin it. Thankfully, the Jets didn't.

    5. IND-CLE: good color contrast for these two teams who are in bordering states but different divisions. Those two unis would look best in a night game.

    4. ATL-GB; the Falcons red accents and numerals on their road whites, coupled with white pants, make for great contrasts with just about anybody. The Packers are no exception. I only rank it this low because these two met last year in Lambeau. Give a chance for other matchups to shine.

    3. TB-DET: second year in a row the Bucs make their way into the Motor City. But I liked seeing what the two teams brought out. Hope it's just as appealing if/when the Lions visit Tampa and the Bucs go with red and pewter.

    2. PIT-CIN: Steelers-Bengals always looks great when the Bengals wear what I want them to.

    1. SF-OAK: for the first time in 12 years, this quadrennial matchup takes place in the East bay, and it's my top nod. I admittedly have a bias towards interconference games done right. It looked like classic Roger Craig against Bill Pickel. Or Charles Haley trying to stop Roger Craig in silver and black .

  2. Mistake on my comment: HOU-JAX had the Jags in white pants, not black. So I'm rating that game #7 - ahead of DAL-CHI.



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